


i'm not god, i can't change the stars

by scorpiusmalfoys



Series: El's Harry Potter Canon Companion Extravaganza [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Kinda, M/M, Sad, Stream of Consciousness, the aftermath of Sirius' 'betrayal'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:33:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiusmalfoys/pseuds/scorpiusmalfoys
Summary: Remus didn’t know a room could feel so claustrophobic but so empty.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: El's Harry Potter Canon Companion Extravaganza [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049015
Kudos: 1





	i'm not god, i can't change the stars

**Author's Note:**

> hello i have not been writing because assignments that i have all submitted and i was also working on a flintwood thing but i was listening to motion in the ocean by mcfly and bubble wrap came on and i was like fuck this is post-lily and james betrayal remus i realised this is a sign i should write this thing and i did so pls listen to that song and agree with me thanks
> 
> once again i am telling you that kudos, comments, bookmarks etc are muchly appreciated and i thank you all for doing that for little old me who craves validation from outside sources also constructive criticism is also appreciated
> 
> bubble wrap:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6OhzwkBAEc
> 
> EDIT: i just found out this song is used in an undertale animatic but i don’t know what that is past the name and medium i’m just british so i know who mcfly are and i was a massive fan of them when i was like 12

Remus didn’t know a room could feel so claustrophobic but so empty. ~~Their~~ His flat was filled with pictures that felt fake, like every memory they held had been altered slightly to make everything seem amazing when they weren’t. He wanted to scream, cry, yell but nothing he could do would make up for the anguish he felt inside. How didn’t he notice? How was he so stupid to fall for someone who could do that to his friends? And then scream about his innocence like S- he hadn’t just fucking killed Peter. He couldn’t even _think_ about his name; it was too painful. And the stupid fucking wolf wouldn’t let him drink away the pain of loneliness. Remus had feared this very feeling, losing everyone and everything around him but he didn’t know it was going to happen this way. Caused by the man he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with. Was it all fake? Was it all a lie? Even from when they met on that stupid train when they were 11? Did Si- Did he value him as a _friend_ even? All these questions left unanswered because Remus refused to see that man _again_. He heard about the celebrations and he knew the rest of the wizarding world were allowed to breathe a sigh of relief but Remus couldn’t stand the fact that everyone was essentially celebrating the deaths of Lily and James. And _God_ they were so young. And Harry was going to grow up with those awful Muggles who were going to hate him and Remus could do fuck all because _Sirius_ had betrayed them. The one person who could save Harry was the reason all of this happened. Merlin, this place was tainted with _him_. From the furniture they had jokingly picked out together to the fucking leather jacket next to his corduroy borg one. He had to pack up this shit and chuck it away and forget about it, maybe he’d move back to Wales, forget about this life, become a feral cryptid in a stupid valley. He didn’t have it in him to feel rage and he didn’t have it in him to feel distraught. All he could hope was Sirius was wasting away in a cell constantly suffering for his betrayal. The full moon was in a few days and it would be his first alone in a while. But at least it wasn’t with _him_.

**Author's Note:**

> here are some trans resources:  
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/p6q5sm-homeless-black-trans-women-fund  
> https://transrightshumanrights.carrd.co/  
> https://pointofpride.org/  
> https://twitter.com/IMANISHANTE/status/1267453848853065728  
> https://twitter.com/aidenschmaiden/status/1280255812363972608
> 
> and here are my socials:  
> twitter: peabrainidiot  
> instagram: frygebraec  
> tumblr: jeanscotts


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